are you Egyptian? .. Let's have some fun !

10:28 PM S. H. 0 Comments

You know you are Egyptian if....

1- You say "estubid" and "owet" for "stupid" and "out" .
2- Your Mom hits u with anything that is near her, anything from a shoe to a bowl.
3- Your parents brag about you even if you're bad.
4- Your family eats (NOT koushari)* with their hands.
5- You own a grocery store or a gas station.
6- You're fat or bald and blame it on your parents.
7- Your taunt asks you when she can dance at your wedding.
8- You smoke as if it were your last day on earth...and you only smoke apple or manga sheesha.
10- You pronounce "the things" za sings".
11- You put tahina in and on everything and brag about how healthy it is.
12- You gossip about your own family...with members of your own family.
13- Your aunts and uncles have more than 4 kids.
14- You eat kofta at least 4 times a week.
15- You cook a meal that lasts a week.
16- You pity anyone who is not an Egyptian and think all other cultures are morally corrupt.
17- You have fruit trees in your backyard and when they are in season you live off of them.
18- You watch the hell out of the Arabic channels.
19- You have billions of cousins.
20- At weddings it takes the bride and groom 4 hours to kiss all the guests and everybody hits their drink with their forks.
21- You "get down" from the car instead of "getting out" of it.
22- You act like you want to pay, but in reality you hate to pay.
23- You have a gold necklace of your name written in Hieroglyphics.
24- You own and/or play a tablah.
25- Your middle name is your father's first name.
26- You never pay the tolls on the highway.
27- You play cards till the break of dawn
28- Your Mom says things like: put za sings in za sing.
29- You can't have a meal without aish (arabic bread).
30- If you are an Egyptian woman you dye your hair an obviously fake shade of blonde that is nonexistent in nature and swear that it's natural.
31- You feel proud when someone famous or a celebrity has any Arabic blood in them.
32- You teach your American friends Arabic words (mostly bad ones) and get happy when they use them in normal conversations.
33- You have five different foods at your dinner table.
34- If you're a single Egyptian guy, your Mom tries to get u married when you're 12.
35- Your favorite food is warah aneb, but you are embarrassed to tell your friends that you eat leaves for dinner.
36- You get really happy and call the whole family to the room when there is a special or documentary on Egyptians on CNN or PBS.
37- You use your church or mosque as a social ground to meet potential wives/husbands.
38- You have lefa hair...and if you don't, u have curly hair.
39- Your father swears at you with words that effect himself "ya ibn il kalb (you son of a dog/bastard).
40- You argue about your Africaness...bitch LOOK AT THE MAP! (at least for scholarships).
41- You think all other dilects of arabic are ugly...and wonder if you and Gulf people even speak the same language.
42- You can belly dance the hell out of anyone else.
43- You call any older person you've never met before: uncle "Ammo" or aunt "Tunt".
44- Getting a visa to Europe or the States is like getting a baby,everybody tells you "mabrook"
45- You always carry excess luggage when you travel and learn how to beg the personnel at the airport to allow the excess baggage you've got as soon as your father stops doing that for you.
46- Your dream is holding a different passport.
47- When you FLY BACK home you find 20 people waiting for you at the airport.
48- Every time you fly back home you meet relatives you never knew existed, and they look nothing like your family.
49- You look for universities as far away from home as possible.
50- You always curse at Egyptians when you are back home, but when you live abroad you make many Egyptian friends, and say how wonderful are the ones back home.
51- Everyone is a family friend.
52- People are never happy with what you've achieved. If you graduated from school they'll tell you "Oqbal el Shahadeh el kebeerah", and when u get that "Oqbal el Aroosa or Areees", and when you get that "Oqbal ma nefrah be Aoulad-kum", and when you get that "Oqbal ma tefrahu bi! ! shahadit-hum", etc...
53- You only walk on the streets in groups of seven or more people and talk really loud in Arabic all together.
54- You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
55- When you go on a date you start thinking of lousy places where nobody would go to, so you won't bump into family or friends.
56- You end up in a lousy place and still bump into the relative with the biggest mouth.
57- If you are 25 and not married yet, your parents make you feel that you are getting too old.
58- Getting married becomes the only way you can escape your parents, unless you are part of the lower eighty percent of the population; then you live with them, even after marriage and go out with your wife on a date.
59- You keep on saying Kol Sanna Wa Inta Tayeb left, right and center !
60- You always say “get down from the car" instead of "get out of the car."
61- You pronounce your p's as b's (bebsi and bolice) unless you were raised also speaking a western language, a rare breed in present Egypt
62- You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you a story of how he had to walk miles just to get to school.
63- Your parents were ranked first in school.
64- Your parents think that cereal is for the devil, and that there is nothing better than fool and ta3meeya.
65- You are addicted to 3aseer asab (sugar cane juice).
66- You are reading this right now and thinking, “yadil fadayih il nas hay2ooloo 3alayna eih?"

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