how to survive in Egypt,

How to catch a GOOD LIAR

6:02 PM S. H. 0 Comments

A great article from TIME

Regardless of your job or carrier a bit of Psychological knowledge never comes bad, this small signs can tell you when someone is lying to you, it could be in a professional, emotional or business relationship(Hey what about TV?, just saying ), good liars live their lies and it could be not so easy to decipher their intentions 

Lying well is hard — but not in the way you might think.

We usually look for nervousness as one of the signs of lying. Like the person is worried about getting caught. But that’s actually a weak predictor.
Some people are so confident they don’t fear getting caught. Others are great at hiding it.
Some get nervous when questioned so you get false positives. And others are lying to themselves — so they show no signs of deliberate deception.
So lying isn’t necessarily hard in terms of stress. But it is hard in terms of “cognitive load.” What’s that mean?
Lying is hard because it makes you think. You need to think up the lies. That’s extra work.
Looking for nervousness can be a wild goose chase. Looking for signs of thinking hard can be a great strategy.
Lying can be cognitively demanding. You must suppress the truth and construct a falsehood that is plausible on its face and does not contradict anything known by the listener, nor likely to be known. You must tell it in a convincing way and you must remember the story.This usually takes time and concentration, both of which may give off secondary cues and reduce performance on simultaneous tasks.
This also means that many of the signs of lying we often look for aren’t accurate. And things we’re not looking for can be good indicators.
When nervous we blink our eyes more often, but we blink less under increasing cognitive load (for example when solving arithmetic problems). Recent studies of deception suggest that we blinkless when deceiving — that is, cognitive load rules.Nervousness makes us fidget more, but cognitive load has the opposite effect. Again, contra-usual expectation, people often fidget less in deceptive situations. And consistent with cognitive load effects, men use fewer hand gestures while deceiving and both sexes often employ longer pauses when speaking deceptively.
So don’t look for signs of stress, look for indicators that the person is thinking hard.
They tend not to move their arms and legs so much, cut down on gesturing, repeat the same phrases, give shorter and less detailed answers, take longer before they start to answer, and pause and hesitate more. In addition, there is also evidence that they distance themselves from the lie, causing their language to become more impersonal. As a result, liars often reduce the number of times that they say words such as “I,” “me,” and “mine,” and use “him” and “her” rather than people’s names. Finally, is increased evasiveness, as liars tend to avoid answering the question completely, perhaps by switching topics or by asking a question of their own.
To detect deception, forget about looking for signs of tension, nervousness, and anxiety. Instead, a liar is likely to look as though they are thinking hard for no good reason, conversing in a strangely impersonal tone, and incorporating an evasiveness that would make even a politician or a used-car salesman blush.
Those are helpful tips. But how do we take it to the next level?
What do experts at detecting lies do?
Increase Load
They don’t passively rely on common signs of lying.
They deliberately make the person think harder to magnify the signals to a point where they are obvious.
  • Have people tell their story backwards, starting at the end and systematically working their way back. Instruct them to be as complete and detailed as they can. This technique, part of a “cognitive interview” Geiselman co-developed with Ronald Fisher, a former UCLA psychologist now at Florida International University, “increases the cognitive load to push them over the edge.” A deceptive person, even a “professional liar,” is “under a heavy cognitive load” as he tries to stick to his story while monitoring your reaction.
  • Ask open-ended questions to get them to provide as many details and as much complete information as possible (“Can you tell me more about…?” “Tell me exactly…”). First ask general questions, and only then get more specific.
  • Don’t interrupt, let them talk and use silent pauses to encourage them to talk.
Who You Need To Be Wary Of
It’s not the dumb people. Cognitive load, remember?
Who can best handle thinking hard? Who comes up with great stories on the fly?
It’s true: smarter and more creative people are better liars.
So ask yourself who can tell better stories? It turns out more creative people can tell better stories, so that’s actually what we find. We find it when we measure students that are more creative, they cheat more. We find that when we use priming to increase creativity, we also increase dishonesty.
It brings a smirk to my face whenever people wish for children that are smart and creative…
Yes, research shows you can tell how smart your child is by how early they start lying:
The complex brain processes involved in formulating a lie are an indicator of a child’s early intelligence, they add. A Canadian study of 1,200 children aged two to 17 suggests those who are able to lie have reached an important developmental stage.
(And no, dear parents, despite what you may tell yourself you’re notvery good at discerning when your kid is lying.)
All this deception, and it’s even more common among the intelligent and creative. What to do?
Maybe that’s why when you survey people about the most important character trait you get an unsurprising answer —trustworthiness:
Participants in 3 studies considered various characteristics for ideal members of interdependent groups (e.g., work teams, athletic teams) and relationships (e.g., family members, employees). Across different measures of trait importance and different groups and relationships, trustworthiness was considered extremely important for all interdependent others…

2014 fashion,

Don't allow anyone to manipulate your maind!

3:03 PM S. H. 0 Comments

As-Salaamu Alaykum dear followers and occasional readers.

It's being a while I know, but as you may know by now, Egypt is not what it used to be, therefore my mental and spiritual health is not at it's best, it seems even rude to write about non-important things like fashion or hijabs in the actual situation we are living in.

However I keep reading your blogs and I found this very interesting Article and a "Must read" blogpost by A Muslimah's thoughts blog called "An open letter to hijab fashionistas" 

here an extract of the post you can read the complete post in the link here

How is it that sisters of this noble ummah are able to walk around in leggings/jeans wearing a headscarf and still believe this is adhering to hijab?
How is it that sisters of this noble ummah wear long garments but have faces full of make-up and still refer to it as ‘modest’?
Deviation of the correct Islamic wear only occurred post 1924, when the islamic rule of governance was abolished. With the removal of the caliphate, western concepts such as liberalism, feminism and freedom infiltrated the Muslim world and consequently, the minds of Muslims.
It has sadly become a norm to see images of sexualised women such as Kate Moss and Beyonce shoved in our faces.  Subsequently, some of you may have consciously or subconsciously, taken these western woman as role models, as their constant glorification has made you want to have a little fashion freedom?
Despite the west’s many attempts to remove, demonize and label the hijab as oppressive and backwards, Muslim women like yourselves are still proud and happy wearing some essence of the hijab. However, the west and their forces of shaytaan do not give up so easily. Their plan of completely eradicating the hijab may have failed, but instead they have outsmarted you sisters by making your hijab a fashion asset, rather than an act of obedience to Allah.   It has become clear that wearing the hijab in its simplistic form as prescribed by Allah, is now looked upon as boring and old.
Something all sisters need to be aware of, is that the west are good at manipulating the minds of women. They know how women think. They understand that women enjoy being called beautiful and that it is something valued by both sexes. Due to this acknowledgement, they are then able to profit from of this desire by creating the standard for beauty. Sadly, their deranged idea of beauty has degraded many sisters who have been conned into the idea that beauty lies in the make-up, the clothes and the accessories.
he need to want to glamorise your hijab and outfits, is a sign that you are clearly not comfortable wearing the hijab properly. Somewhere in your understanding of hijab, you have mixed the kufr concept of western beauty with islam. ....