Saturday, August 28, 2010

Islamic Foundations for a Happy marriage IV

11. Family

Paternity can be a difficult experience, especially if parents are not well informed. This may generate an extra pressure on the marriage relationship.

Sometimes, couples are too naive about the changes that come with the new way of life. This can cause depression in some cases, misunderstandings and resentments. A golden rule that we must always bear in mind is that family comes first.

If you notice that your family is not happy or is not your main priority is time to take matters into and sit down and talk with the heart and mind open. Couples living with their parents have additional responsibility of caring for them. This load can be very stressful if the couple is not prepared to face such a situation.

It should be a very precise plan for the respective parents about who will hand over primary responsibility for care and what the type of assistance will be given.




12. Feelings

The Prophet Muhammad (sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam) said that Allah Ta'ala forgives all sins if we repent. However, He will not forgive those who have committed against another person or their feelings, unless that person forgive us.


Couples are usually very sensitive about the feelings of the spouse and tend to think they always know what the other means. It is amazing how people are more careful and kind to strangers than with their loved ones. One must always be attentive and be especially careful with the feelings of the husband or wife and, if passing them to carry, rushing to apologize for any lack in this regard.

Since nobody knows what time the person we love may leave this world, it is advisable to correct our mistakes as there is still time to do so.




13.Freedom

Marriage in Islam is a society, not slavery or servitude. Seeing your wife as a property is an idea alien to the Islamic conception of the roles of wife and husband. Team spirit is enhanced when members of it feel free to be themselves. Freedom in the Western sense means being free to do what they feel like it or to be selfish. Give freedom to the wife or husband means to consider their needs and recognize their limitations.


14.The Romance



Many successful marriages have maintained a jovial behavior in marital life, eg by some special names and secret forms of communication.



15.The Openness

Misunderstandings often occur when the parties are not honest with each other. A marriage can exist only if the couple feel safe to speak out with due consideration for the feelings of others, without compromising their personal views. When there is open communication, it is possible to develop the closeness or depth understanding of the inwardness of the other.

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